Both humility and expediency show up as flexibility.
So what is the difference?

Humility involves a commitment to our values.

An open hearted awareness certainly helps us to heal and to grow.

Our values give this growth some sort of meaningful shape

“This is not McMindfulness by any stretch of the imagination” – The Psychologist.

An interesting interview with JonKabat Zinn discussing the place of mindfulness in relation to psychology and Buddhism.

Older adults who suffer from moderate insomnia may benefit from mindfulness meditation, a clinical trial shows.

The research indicates this form of meditation is a better bet for a good night’s sleep than the more conventional strategy of focusing on better sleep hygiene.

“According to our findings, mindfulness meditation appears to have a role in addressing the prevalent burden of sleep problems among older adults by remediating their moderate sleep disturbances and deficits in daytime functioning,” says lead researcher Dr David Black from the University of Southern California.

The study, published in JAMA Internal Medicine

In a related commentary, Dr Adam Spira from the John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health says the results are “compelling”.

More info can be found at  http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/02/150216131115.htm

An old monk was sitting in deep meditation by the side of the road with his eyes half closed, his legs crossed and his hands folded in his lap.

Suddenly his meditation was interrupted by the gruff and strident voice of a samurai warrior. “Old man! Can you teach me about heaven and hell!”

At first, the monk appeared unmoved but gradually his eyes opened fully displaying a twinkle. The faintest hint of a smile played around the corners of his mouth.  the samurai stood there in a threatening stance, becoming increasingly agitated.

“You wish to know the secrets of heaven and hell?” the monk eventually replied  in a kind and gentle voice. “You who are so unkempt. You whose hands and feet are covered with dirt. You whose hair is uncombed, whose breath is foul, whose sword is all rusty and neglected. You who are ugly and whose mother dresses you funny. You would ask me of heaven and hell?”

The samurai did’t hear the kindness in the monk’s voice. He only heard the mocking words and so as he uttered a vile curse,  he drew his sword and raised it high above his head. His face turned to crimson and the veins on his neck stood out in bold relief as he prepared to sever the monk’s head from its shoulders.

“That is hell,” said the old monk gently, just as the samurai was beginning the lethal blow.

Instantly, the samurai was overcome with amazement, awe, recognition and compassion for this gentle being who had dared to risk his very life to give him such a teaching. His arms went limp and in mid-flight  the sword fell to a harmless position  and the samurai’s eyes filled with grateful tears.

“And that,” said the monk, “is heaven.”

Attachment patterns established between parents  and children serve those children well through life. It allows them to form healthy adult friendships and intimate relationships. I also allows them to embrace the opportunities that life presents to them.

When attachment is healthy, the reaching out movement of the baby toward the mother is confident and unambivalent. Most of us carry some level of interruption to this process into our adulthood. This manifests in our relationships as cutting off, being overly independent  or an exaggerated neediness. These behaviours become more marked when we are under stress. They can also show outside our relationships as an inability to reach out in a healthy way to the opportunities that life offers us. The practice of self compassion as part of mindfulness can help us to heal these dysfunctional patterns. We can then pass on love in a healthy way to others.

These are all connected and the Oxytocin based mammalian care giving system is involved.

Oxytocin is released in massive doses when a mother gives birth. It contracts her uterus stimulating childbirth and after childbirth it stimulates the mother’s milk production as well as  stimulating  nurturing and maternal instincts. It is also increased when someone speaks to us in a soft soothing voice or caresses us gently. It calms us and intensifies our bonding and sense of belonging.

Healing of anxious attachment patterns can begin with restorative adult relationships and  a mindfulness meditation practice  that includes a generous dose of self compassion.

Check out these links:

Self compassion and oxytocin

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kristin-neff/self-compassion_b_884665.html

The mothering voice

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2010/may/12/mother-phone-call-study-us-oxytocin